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What Matters
Couples Counselling
How to Flourish In Love
I believe that in each relationship lives a spark that can light a thousand loves. Connection is our biggest reward, and love, our brightest celebration.
But what happens when that spark is lost? How do we get it back? How do we cherish and protect it?
Most of my clients are couples who have lost their way. They tell me how the flames went out, how they live in exile from one another in the same house, how family life alienated them, how their careers got in the way, or how sex became stale.
It doesn’t have to be that way. More than 8 out of 10 couples who see me for counselling, make it. Those who don’t, usually end up separating as good friends—sometimes falling in love again. Of course, it doesn’t always work out. That’s life. But the answer is to believe in the love that you had in the beginning, and using that to light a new way to happiness.
I offer a couples counselling training course for new couples that is designed to bolster your relationship against bad times, and keep you flourishing in love. Together we’ll work through relationship skills that will ensure you stand the best chance to truly enjoy one another and live a life together that will weather the storms.
The course consists out of three 1.5-hour couples sessions and one individual 1.5-hour sessions each.
I also offer a free 30-minute introductory session to discuss what you can expect and what we’ll achieve by the end.
Are you always arguing with each other? Do you find yourself hurting when doing things together that used to be fun? Has sex become routine? Do you yearn for earlier days or new connections?
The struggles that couples face often lead to depression, anxiety, desperation, and low self-esteem.
I work with monogamous and non-monogamous couples to rekindle their love, to find new hope and excitement, and to future-proof their relationships.
Through a process of individual and couples counselling, we’ll work through the challenges you’re facing together, and ensure that you no longer feel alone, together.
Perhaps one of the worst forms of emotional trauma, is the realisation that your partner has been unfaithful to you. The trauma and loss seems irreparable. The jealousy, pain, betrayal, and hopelessness that you experience feels like it will tear your very soul in two.
How did it happen? One moment you were happy and secure. The next, your entire life feels overturned and like fog through a looking glass.
Whether your relationship was monogamous or non-monogamous, the feelings of anguish and desperation that you feel when your partner(s) found intimacy outside the confines of what you believed was yours, almost always seem fatal to your love.
Worst of all, it feels like your ability to ever love again, or trust again, has been stolen from you, and destroyed.
There is always hope. Couples can heal and relationships can be redefined. It takes time, the will to heal, and the dedication of all partners to rededicate themselves, but it is possible.
It’s true that in the case of infidelity, survival rates for relationships are lower. However, more often than not, clients who initially came to see me for couples counselling due to infidelity who decide to stay together, report that their relationships end up more secure than before.
Together with infidelity comes a kind of forced honesty. Suddenly, finally, everything is out in the open. Nothing seems to hurt more. But, it does allow us the tools to rebuild. For the first time there is nothing left hidden and you have everything you need to rebuild your life and relationship the way that you want.
Please get in touch for a free initial chat. I know that you’re hurting, that you need the pain to stop, and I’d love to help. Couples Counselling helps, and it can work for you.
Not many counsellors seem to have experience in counseling couples through long-distance relationships.
I do have experience of being in a truly happy relationship with my partner that began as a 4-year long-distance relationship. I understand on a very personal level what you’re going through, and what it takes to make it work. I also know that while those around you might not get it, you know it’s worth it. Don’t give up.
Online couples counselling is marvelous for this, because it means that we can do couples counselling together, no matter where (or in which timezone) you find yourself.
Whether your relationship is currently under strain, or whether you just need someone to counsel you through as time goes on, please get in touch.
Perhaps you think of your relationship as being a little different from the norm. Maybe that’s because you’re not vanilla, straight, or perhaps you have more than one partner. Maybe you’re a mixed race couple. Perhaps there’s an age difference. Or, perhaps you or your partner(s) are transitioning.
To me, love, is love. And, love reigns supreme. When you tell me that your relationship configuration is perfect as you define it, then that is the truth that matters. My goal is never to judge, only to counsel you to be happy—both individually, and together.
If you’ve had bad experiences from counsellors who pretend to be unbiased, only to ‘guide’ you into separating, please get in touch. I celebrate relationships, connection, and love in all it’s forms. That includes yours.
A very large proportion of my clients have previously separated and been brave enough to love again. When this happens, it’s often the case that unique challenges come to light.
Perhaps you or your new partner have children from previous relationships. Perhaps one of you gets made out to be the “new” parent, or member of the family. And how do you deal with an ex-partner, and their role in your new family’s life?
I have extensive experience in counselling couples to survive the transition, without losing their way, or worse, one another in the process.
Although this is the extreme last resort, in some cases it’s better to be happily separated than miserably together. This is never my goal.
However, if after counselling you both believe that separation is the best option, there are ways to do that amicably. I have experience in counselling couples to separate as friends, and to deal with what could have been all-out war.
What happens with mutual friends? How exactly do you deal with social media? How do you untangle joint finances? What about the kids? How do you introduce new partners into your life, without alienating your now-friend and ex-partner? And the pets?
I can work with you to decouple in a loving, amicable, and peaceful way. I understand the heartbreak and pain. It will never be easy to let go, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t do it with love.
If you’d like to find out more about how I can be of assistance, please get in touch or feel free to schedule a Free Initial Consultation.
Client Feedback:
“I think of myself as a very private person. I’ve always found it difficult to share my emotions with anyone except my wife, but because of how we’ve drifted apart, I’ve been left feeling alone and isolated.
Thank you so much for seeing us as a couple. In the beginning we both thought that our relationship was pretty much over and we figured that couples counselling would pretty much be a last ditch effort. How wrong (thankfully!!) we both were.
Thanks to your help we’re now best friends and lovers again. We’ve rediscovered our love and we’ve rededicated ourselves. The skills you taught us for communication and stating our needs were especially helpful.
We both feel like we have our lives back again.
We can never thank you enough James.”
Deb & Roman, Liverpool, UK
Desire
Differences
Learn to navigate libido in your relationship. Rediscover intimacy and passion.
Desire
Differences
Learn to navigate libido in your relationship. Rediscover intimacy and passion.